Ah hate that song'
by DarkJadedRose
Summary: Rogue goes to the extreme to rid the world of the songs and the Pop Stars she has grown to hate
1. Jessica Simpson

This is a stupid fic out of boredom so please don't be mad at me, I don't own any characters, nor do I own Jessica Simpson or her song. . . (Thank God) nah just kidding *cough* nor anything else familiar to your eyes. And I have nothing against her, she's okay. Anyway here it is.  
  
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"Hey Rogue, you're song is on," Kitty shouted from the rec room, where she, Jubilee and Tabitha were watching MTV. Rogue bounded into the room in a hurry.  
  
"Great, ah've been dyin' to check out the new Fuel song, and ah keep missin' it," with that she sat down in the chair beside Kitty and watched as Jessica Simpson came onto the screen.  
  
"The real me is a southern girl with her Levis on and an open heart. Wish I could say the save the world, like I was super girl. The real me used to laugh all night lying in the grass just talking about love, but lately I've been jaded life got so complicated," Jessica sang. Rogue's face turned red with anger.  
  
"That is not mah song! Ah don't even like that song! How could ya make us girls look so stupid," she shouted at the screen and with that she left the room full of laughing girls. She knocked on Kurt's door and it seemed as if it was a conspiracy. Jessica was playing on the radio in there as well.  
  
"I'm still thinking about it, almost forgot what it was like. Do you know what it feels like? Cause with you I can let my hair down, I can say anything crazy, I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground" She continued to sing.  
  
"Arghh!" Rogue growled. She needed to get away from that song or she'd explode. She went to her bed and lay on it and tried to breathe in and out, in and out. Finally she turned the television on to her favorite soap, it was on commercial.  
  
"Out now in stores," said the announcer, "Jessica Simpson's new hit record 'In This Skin.' On the album is her two hit singles 'Sweetest Sin' and-."  
  
"Don't say it," Rogue shouted.  
  
"And 'With You'."  
  
"Nooooooooooooo!" Rogue cried out. She threw the remote at the television causing it to explode. "I have to end this," she seethed, suddenly a plan formed in her mind. She got out of bed and changed her clothing into something more flexible. She than climbed out the window with a bag of things that cannot be disclosed at this moment, and made her way to the one person that could end this whole charade.  
  
***  
  
Rogue stepped into the bus and sat across of a teenage girl, with super bleached blonde hair and eyes so wide and blue she looked like one of those scary dolls that open and close there eyes. Ignoring her, Rogue began to further contemplate her plan. Suddenly in an awful voice the teenage girl began to sing along with her c.d. player.  
  
"With nothing but a T-shirt on I never felt so beautiful Baby as I do now, Now that I'm with you, with you Now that I'm with you," the girl sang in a horrible voice that vibrated too much.  
  
"No more!" Rogue screamed and took her glove off, touching the girls face, the teenager slumped to the ground, everyone except a seven year old girl with brown pigtails screamed. The little girl ran to Rogue and gave her a hug.  
  
"Thank you! Thank you," she shouted. Rogue patted her on the head after putting her gloves back on.  
  
"No Problem," she said and sat down until she got to the airport. She paid for the plane ride with the professor's credit card that she swiped a little earlier and entered the plane without any trouble. A couple of hours passed and she finally made it to where she wanted to be. Her stomach growled and she decided to stop for a bite to eat.  
  
The restaurant was large with a little stage on the side. A girl with long black hair and super white pasty skin stood up and spoke, Rogue stared at the piercing on her lips that had a chain that stopped at the ear.  
  
"I'd like to sing a little song to my boyfriend, cause he makes me feel real. I forgot the first part so I'm skipping that," she said blandly. Her voice was like watery oatmeal. Rogue sat back expecting a song by The Donna's or something, she was deeply disappointed. "You speak and it's like a song and just like that all my walls come down," the girl half spoke and half sang. Rogue's right eye began to twitch, "It's like a private joke just meant for us to know. I relate to you naturally everybody else just fades away Sometimes it's hard to breathe just knowing you found me."  
  
Before the girl could get to the next stanza Rogue pounced on her and began to beat the living crap out of her. The girl's boyfriend tried to drag her off.  
  
"What are ya doin'?" he asked, with a thick southern voice.  
  
"You're a shame to all southerners!" she screamed and broke the guys nose. Rogue found herself being thrown out of the restaurant. Luckily she ate the food already and the owners forgot that she hadn't paid. "Idiots," she mumbled.  
  
***  
  
Finally she arrived at her destination. She climbed over the wall and hedge the way she was taught during her sessions with Logan. Pulling the mask over her face she saw the target of all her problems. She walked up to the back door and knocked politely.  
  
Jessica Simpson opened the door with huge pouty lips and wide innocent eyes. Wearing a 250 dollar pair of jeans and a t-shirt that said 'With You' in little diamond sparkleys, her hair looking perfect. In her hand was a can of chicken of the sea and a fork.  
  
"Hi, can I help you?" Jessica asked. Rogue smiled through the mask.  
  
"Yes," she said about to hurt the girl when Jessica spoke again.  
  
"Than come in," Jessica said. She opened the door and gave Rogue a wide smile. Rogue felt herself beginning to loose the anger. It wasn't her fault that they made her sing that stupid song. She probably didn't know any better. "Want some chicken?" Jessica asked.  
  
"Sure," Rogue said. She was still hungry after all and some good old fashioned fried chicken sounded good to her.  
  
"Here," and Jessica handed her a tray with an open can of tuna and a fork. "So how can I help you?"  
  
"Well you see, there is this song that you sing about being a southern girl and-." She was suddenly cut off.  
  
"Oh, I love that song, I sing it right?" She asked happily. Rogue just gave her a weird look.  
  
"Um, yeah you sing it."  
  
"Ooh," and than as fate would have it, the girl began to sing. "Come and take me, Love you save me Like nobody else, Now I can be myself, With you I can let my hair down, I can say anything crazy, I know you'll catch me right before I hit the grou-." At that moment she fell back after a fork got stuck in her forehead.  
  
Rogue was seething; she really, really hated that song. She pulled the fork out of the girl's head and Jessica just lay there unconscious. Rogue figured she hit a nerve. Taking out the equipment that she stole from Mr. McCoy's lab, she found herself performing surgery on the 'southern girl'. She finished her job and went home.  
  
***  
  
"Girls!" Logan shouted. Jubilee, Kitty, Tabitha and Rogue came running in from the kitchen. "Isn't that the girl you like?" The news Reporter came on the television with tears in her eyes.  
  
"Good evening everyone," she began. "Terrible news has been shared to us today. Jessica Simpson the southern pop singer with several hits and number one records,"  
  
"Lies," Rogue muttered.  
  
"Shut up," Logan and the girls said. (I imagine Rogue would be like this after hearing Logan o.O, anyway)  
  
"Has been found," the reporter continued, her voice cracking, "Lobotomized."  
  
Kitty, Jubilee, Tabitha and Logan cried out. Rogue just stood there snickering.  
  
"The President of the United States decided that her song, and this has been approved by congress, 'With You' shall become a National song, sung in every Football game, shown in every commercial and it must be hummed twenty four hours a day by at least one person in the house hold. Good night." And with that Logan shut off the television. Rogue just stared at the screen and began to cry while she enveloped herself in a fetal position.  
  
"Now that I'm with you," she mumbled over and over again. ***************************************  
  
Rod Serling than marched into the room in black and white and spoke.  
  
"This is the tale of a Goth southerner who tried to rid the world of an icon, unfortunately her game was turned back on her and now she lives in a world full of nothing but Jessica Simpson. And such is the Twilight Zone."  
  
Neener neener neener neener neener neener neener neener dun dun dun dun dun duuuuun.  
  
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That was the dumbest fic I ever wrote! Anyway Review please. 


	2. Britney Spears

Due to popular demand, I decided to do chapter to of Ah Hate that Song. This may not reach up to standards, but I, Samantha, shall attempt to do away with the blondes of the media. *applauds rise* Please please people, it is my pleasure to do so! Anyway, Here is Britney Spears new song (have you seen it, totally scandalous) Toxic and I do not 'hate' the girls, it's merely entertaining to kill them off. Now on with my favorite Evo character and the story.  
  
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Rogue left the living room while all three girls (and Logan) hummed the Jessica Simpson song. She managed to find silence in her bedroom. She didn't dare to turn on the television for fear of once again hearing that Jessica Simpson song, unfortunately for her, Kitty ended up skipping into the room and turning on the television. It was an interview between Britney Spears and some other chick.  
  
"Ah don't know why they said that," Britney said in that southern voice of hers, her wide BROWN, wide none the less, eyes turned to the camera. "But ah did not sleep with Justin. That just ain't right for lil ol' me. Ah am a vurgin." She said, nodding to everyone and than she flashed a smile blinding the audience.  
  
Suddenly a new interview came on with Britney Spears. "Oh yeah, me and Justin did the nookie. It wasn't sex now, it was makin' love. When two people love each other they want to consummate it and that's what we did." She brushed her perfectly piecy bang out of her eyes and smiled again. This time Rogue and Kitty were prepared and covered their eyes.  
  
"We will now continue with one of her best body moments, er, I meant video moments, yes, um, video moments." Said the interviewer. Suddenly the screen changed to a hot and sweaty place. Scott knocked and opened the door. He smiled and sat next to Kitty while her eyes were glued to the screen. Turning to it he realized what song it was.  
  
"KURT!!!!" He shouted, every boy in the mansion managed to get them selves cramped up in that little room.  
  
"This is vonderful!" Said Kurt in delight. All the boys nodded in agreement.  
  
I know I may be young, but ("You're damn right!" Rogue shouted at the screen, she got hushed by everyone including Kitty)  
  
I've got feelings too  
  
And I need to do  
  
What I feel like doin'  
  
So let me go  
  
And just listen  
  
All you people look at me like I'm a little girl ("You just eighteen ya little southern-." "Rogue!" Kitty shouted.)  
  
Well did you ever think it'd be ok for me to step into this world?  
  
Always sayin, little girl, don't step into the club  
  
Well I'm just tryin to find out why  
  
Cause dancing's what I love  
  
Get it get it get it get it (whoa)  
  
Get it get it get it get it (whoa) -- do you like it? ("I know I do," Scott said. All the guys nodded in agreement, Rogue wiped the drool from his lower lip.)  
  
Get it get it get it get it (whoa) -- this feels good  
  
I know I may come off quiet  
  
I may come off shy  
  
But I feel like talkin', feel like dancin'  
  
But then I see this guy ("That's me everyone. No one can resist the fuzzy dude, "the shoves began on poor Kurt with Rogue giving them all, the finger, no one noticed.)  
  
What's practical, what's logical  
  
What the hell, who cares? ("Did she just, like, curse?" Kitty asked in shock.)  
  
All I know is I'm so happy when you're dancin' there  
  
I'm a slave for you  
  
I cannot hold it, I cannot control  
  
I'm a slave for you  
  
I won't deny it, I'm not tryin' to hide it (Everyone except Rogue sings along)  
  
Baby, don't you wanna dance up on me  
  
(I just wanna dance next to you)  
  
Until another time and place?  
  
Oh baby, don't you wanna dance up on me (Are you ready?)  
  
Leaving behind my name, my age. (Let's go) ("I am so taking dancing lessons man!" Evan commented, no one noticed.)  
  
Like that ("YES!" the boys shouted for the hundredth time.)  
  
You like?  
  
Uh-huh, yeah  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes and got up intent on leaving the room. Scott looked up and gave Rogue a glance.  
  
"Hey Rogue?" She turned to him, her heart skipping a beat. (Awww!) "Why is it that all the southern girls on the TV. look like that," he pointed at the screen, "and you look like, well, you?" Rogue's fist curled at her sides.  
  
"What the hell does that mean?" She questioned, unnoticed by everyone, her gloves coming off.  
  
"Did she like, just curse?" Kitty asked again.  
  
"Well, they're all pretty and you're well, um," Scott realized he did a boo boo. The next thing everyone knows he's lying on the floor completely unconscious and Rogue's eyes are glowing with absurd power.  
  
"Kill the Blondes," was all that she ranted. Kitty phased through the floor to warn Tabitha to get away. They hid as Rogue snuck into the X Jet and flew away to a place they didn't know.  
  
***  
  
Rogue angrily controlled the plane. What the heck did they think? Not all southerners were Blonde with huge boobs and abs. Her nostrils flared and she wondered what it was that she was going to do to the blonde singer. Than she started to smile, she stopped by at the home depot and bought a couple of things with Logan's credit card. Than made her way to special persons home.  
  
Britney answered her hotel room door breathlessly and wrapping a towel around her perfect little body while fixing her perfect messy hair.  
  
"Hi, how can ah help you?" She asked the Goth girl that stood before her.  
  
"We need to talk," was all that Rogue said.  
  
"All right," Britney said smiling, Rogue quickly whipped on the wrap around sun glasses. "You can leave now Diego." A huge Latin man, with a very hairy chest and a teeny tiny wash cloth covering his 'special areas' left the room. "Ya know ah am a virgin," Britney said smiling sweetly. The smile was so real that Rogue almost believed her, key word, almost.  
  
Rogue entered the hotel room that looked more like a mansion, with ten bedrooms, four baths and a diamond encrusted television. She sniffed a little in pride and sat demurely on the couch.  
  
"Now let me change mah clothes to somethin' more decent and comfortable," Britney said. She left and came back in a pink leather mini skirt, a little white mini jacket with a bra that had huge diamonds all over it and thigh high stiletto heeled boots the color, you guessed it, pea green. "Now tell me, what's goin' on in your life? Ah never get to talk about anything but mahself!" She giggled. Rogue smiled and opened her mouth to speak.  
  
"Well," Britney began, "If you insist. Ya see, ah was such a lonely girl in school, nobody liked me. Ah had ugly brown hair and ah was the star of the basket ball team with an awesome voice and ah took gymnastics and excelled in that as well. And ah never had sex, cause ah wanted to wait until ah was married. But anyway. It's so hard to be a brunette, ya know?" Britney asked. Rogue opened her mouth to reply as she raised a finger. "Yup, ya do. Anyway,-." And on and on she went changing the subject from 'ugly brown hair' to being 'popular' to being 'non popular' to winning the home coming dance. "So ya see ah was an ugly duckling that through the blessings of surgery became the hard bodied blonde sexy not yet a girl, not yet a woman, inbetweenie thang, that ah am today." She batted her smoky eyes and gave another smile.  
  
Rogue gave her a polite smile in return and whipped out the chain saw.  
  
***  
  
The news came on again with a now tearing Logan calling the mansion to the rec room. He could barely speak and just pointed at the screen.  
  
"Hello everyone," the reporter said. "Sadly we have another tragic occurrence in the life of the Pop Stars. I hand it over to John McGail who shall do the presentation." Camera shifts over to a very bald man with a long piece of hair wrapped around his head in attempt to cover his obvious baldness, tears are streaming down his face and he is hiccupping and unable to speak. Camera shifts back to previous female reporter.  
  
"Well, anyway, unfortunately a tragic accident to Britney Spears has left the world breastless, *cough* I mean breathless." The reporter amended. "The life of Britney Spears the beautiful southern girl who used to be unpopular with a beautiful voice and a Prom Queen status has been changed drastically with the disappearance of her two reasons of even being on television. Her breast were sadly cut off by a chain saw and sent to Lara Flynn Boyle by mail. We have our very own reporter Natasha McDowell on the spot." The screen changes to a hospital with many people holding lighted candles and pictures of Britney Spear's boobs in the air.  
  
"Thank you for joining us this evening, Britney Spears in now coming out of the hospital and we shall get the first look at the now changed girl." The reporter said. Britney exits the hospital in poom poom shorts and a teeny top with nothing showing. The crowd begins to holler and cry. "Now Britney how will this accident change your career?" The reporter asked her. Britney smiled at the public, a few people left.  
  
"It won't change anything, people love me cause of mah voice and ah haven't lost that." Suddenly she belts out a stanza of her song. "Oops ah did it again, ah played with yer heart, got lost in the g-." The news reporter left the scene as well as everyone else. The camera zooms in to her non existent boobs and the 'tsk, tsk' of the camera man was heard. The screen goes back to the studio.  
  
"Now we will end this with a tribute to the only reasons, Britney had a career, *ahem* has a career." And with that the lead singer from Kiss, Gene Simmons, who had tears flowing down his eyes and a t-shirt that had a blown up photo of Britney. . .pay, Britney's boobs, he reads a poem.  
  
"The breasts that I've grown to love have left and gone  
and thus is my painful life  
For her breasts were the reason we saw her because  
They relieved us of the days strife  
  
The sadness of losing a dear best friend  
Hurts the heart in the end  
But the worst thing is we have lost two  
And now who cares if her she comes back again.  
  
Thank you," and with that he left the studio.  
  
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Another dumb fic as well, probably dumber than the first, maybe I shouldn't even have attempted it. Oh well it took me long enough to write it so I'll just put it up. I don't hate Britney and bla bla bla. Anyway review ur thoughts. 


	3. Christina Aguilera

Hi guys, yeay I got reviews. I do not hate any of the singers I used, and sadly it seems as if they hatred is going much farther than pop singers. It seems to be leading to punk rockers as well. But hey if the reviewers want it. I'll have the name of the singers in the title so that you won't have to read it if you don't want to, plus I like them so don't flame me just cause I 'kill', I mean, just cause Rogue 'kills' them off. Thanks, have fun. Oh and I don't own Christina Aguilera or her songs or other stuff just the magazines ***************************************************************************  
  
Kitty sighed as she read an old article in Teenage Loser Magazine. Rogue who was basking in her glory entered the room wondering what the heck was going on.  
  
"What are ya reading Kitty?" she asked. Kitty looked up and sighed.  
  
"Christina Aguilera is so cool, she's, like, so real ya know? I mean she doesn't let anyone get in her way."  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes; she was too busy wondering what other teen pop singer she'd like to get off the market. She was thinking on that when Kitty popped in a DVD.  
  
"This is Christina's greatest hits, I decided to practice her every move," Kitty said. Suddenly Christina popped onto the screen, lying on the grass, short blonde hair, a clean sweet face and normal dance moves.  
  
I feel like I've been locked up tight  
  
For a century of lonely nights;  
  
Waiting for someone  
  
To release me.  
  
You're licking your lips and blowing kisses my way,  
  
But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away;  
  
Baby, baby, baby.  
  
(Baby, baby, baby.)  
  
"She used ta be so sweet, ah don't know what happened to her now," Rogue commented. The look of horror on Kitty's face made Rogue hold her heart in fright. "What?"  
  
"How dare speak that way about the queen of pop? She has only gotten better over time!" Kitty said like a zombie, her voice had droned and Rogue assumed that she had been brainwashed.  
  
Oh whoa...  
  
My body's saying let's go.  
  
Oh whoa...  
  
But my heart is saying no.  
  
If you wanna be with me, baby, there's a price you pay.  
  
I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way.  
  
If you wanna be with me, I can make your wish come true.  
  
You gotta make a big impression, I gotta like what you do.  
  
Rogue watched as the blonde beauty dressed in cute pants and shirt moved innocently. She than remembered her most recent video. That caused her eyes to narrow; her mind began to contemplate certain things that just aren't good for a girl to think.  
  
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby.  
  
Gotta rub me the right way, honey.  
  
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby,  
  
Come, come, come and let me out.  
  
The song was soon over and a recent interview came on. Christina was chewing gum with her mouth open, her face looking like she wiped ten pounds of Vaseline on her face and colored her eyebrows in with an extra sharpened pencil in super de-dooper black. Her eye make up was shimmery silver and the spiders, er, lashes on her face extended far beyond normalcy. Her hair was twisted into black and white dreads and she had a bandanna that said 'Black and Proud' written in diamond sparklies.  
  
"Ya see," she said in a really low, nice voice, "they tried to make me act unre-al, but I'm not like that. I know what its like to live in the projects. I know how it feels to see your best friend be hurt in a gansta fight. I decided that people can't see me like the sheltered white girl that the industry tried to make me be so I decided to go back to my roots and visit the hood."  
  
A scene is played where Christina is walking across the mowed manicured green lawn in front of a white house with blue shutters and a Dalmatian called Lucky running around in the backyard.  
  
"Ya see over there, that was the first time I ever felt so scared in my life," she was pointing to a tree with a tire hanging by a super thick rope. "Ya see a kid pushed another kid from the swing, we was runnin' from the cops, yo! It was so scary we were just afraid that the cops would catch us, so I hid in my little tree house on the other tree with my girls."  
  
Scene goes back to Christina in a studio. She looks at the camera and smiles, "I just wanna be true to myself," she says and turns around showing everyone her bright pink underwear, under her mini 'mini' skirt that says, 'My ass is like woah'.  
  
"Rogue your like, totally scaring me," Kitty said. Rogue looked at her with a demented look in her eye. She blinked when she saw Kitty cutting her already short skirt, her hair twisted into little dreads and one of her padded bras on the bed.  
  
"Ya see Kitty, this is what society does ta girls, they make them want to be like these, these made up characters. But ah refuse to allow it ta happen," Rogue stood up from her bed and grabbed her bag, she had prepared it already. Things were going to change; she shall call her self 'The Redeemer'.  
  
She made her way to Scott's car and turned on his c.d. player; the song that came out just pumped her up even more, so she left it on and made her way to Maryland for Christina's latest concert.  
  
Oh, I'm overdue Give me some room I'm comin through Paid my dues In the mood Me and the girls gonna shake the room  
  
DJ's spinning (show your hands) Let's get dirrty (that's my jam) I need that, uh, to get me off Sweat until my clothes come off  
  
Rogue made it about eight hours later to the back of her trailer. She snuck in through the ventilation system and grinned when she noticed the 'pop' star walk in with her entourage.  
  
"Hey everyone I wanna thank ya for keepin' it real with me, ya did awesome, now I need my rest, ya know, to keep the chords goin'." Christina said, wearing a pair of leather poom poom shorts and vest. Finally everyone left and the girl sighed with relief.  
  
She went to the mirror and wiped off all the make up on her face, Rogue covered her eyes and started to cry at the horror of the girl without any make up, than Christina changed from her previous outfit to a pair of khaki Bermuda shorts and a polo shirt with a little dragon on the pocket and white tennis shoes. She pulled out the black parts of her hair and wrapped it in a tight bun and put her glasses on, since she was getting a headache from squinting all night.  
  
It's explosive, speakers are pumping (oh) Still jumping, six in the morning Table dancing, glasses are mashing (oh) No question, time for some action  
  
Temperature's up (can you feel it) About to erupt Gonna get my girls Get your boys Gonna make some noise  
  
Rogue quietly opened the ventilation system and lowered herself down with a thick black rope, she threw herself behind a counter when Christina stood up and used the phone.  
  
"Hello Mother," Christina said her voice slightly deeper. "Yes, I had a wonderful time at the concert but things are beginning to get to me." A pause. "You see mother, they want me to be this bad woman and that is just not me," Christina started to cry. Rogue felt bad for her.  
  
"They want me to show my, my backside mother, as if I have not bared it enough. It is just too much, I just want to be real, mother, and you know what my dream is." A knock came on the door, "hold on mother." She whispered, than she spoke more loudly, "Yo, give me a sec." turning back to the phone. "All right, I shall call you back when they have left." She hung up the phone, in two seconds she was dressed in a tiny towel her hair loose and sexy and forty pounds of quickly thrown on make up, basically she looked normal. She opened the door.  
  
"What's up my peoples," she said and the photographers walked in and took thousands of pictures and than left. This was Rogue's chance. She came out from behind the counter.  
  
Wanna get rowdy Gonna get a little unruly Get it fired up in a hurry Wanna get dirrty It's about time that I came to start the party Sweat dripping over my body Dancing getting just a little naughty Wanna get dirrty It's about time for my arrival  
  
"Hello Christina," Rogue said. Christina yelped. Christina was so happy that she had changed back into her 'normal clothing'; she didn't want people to know the secret of why she had to wear so much damn make up. "I decided to save you from your fate," Rogue said.  
  
"You're sorta creepy," Christina said. When Rogue started getting closer, Christina stopped stepping back, put her left hand to her hips and waved the right one's pointer finger. "Oh no you Di-in't, ya best to step back or I'll cut you with my raza!"  
  
"Okay that's it," Rogue said and threw a punch, Christina started to cry.  
  
"That was so mean, I am going to tell my mother and they will have you thrown in jail," she said. Rogue rolled her eyes. She quickly gagged her and tied her hands up. Pulling out Kitty's 're-uglification' kit, she fixed her up to her natural state. Tears sprung into Rogue's eyes.  
  
"Now you can be real!" Rogue said and took millions of Polaroid's with an expensive camera that she bought using Storm's debit card and disappeared into the night.  
  
***  
  
All the X Men as well as the new recruits were gathered in the rec room once again for the third consecutive night in a row as they watched the news.  
  
"Hello everyone, this is Dallas Cowboy with the news. We do not know who or what is hurting our pop stars but we do have new information on Christina Aguilera. Now people you must brace yourselves for the real Christina. Lika Rock has the story," the scene changes from the studios to the Magazine studio called 'Have No Life Magazine for Girls'.  
  
"Hi this is Lika Rock bringing you the news on one of the world's best singers. Apparently the studio received a set of pictures that were not the ones taken by their photographers, and here we have a shot."  
  
Suddenly a real picture of Christina Aguilera was show on screen. Evan screamed and Storm was hugging Logan who was hyperventilating, Scott was curled up in a corner shivering and Kurt was rocking on his knees. Xavier was running . . . wheeling around insanely. It was a horrible moment at the X-Mansion.  
  
"The world is in chaos," Lika continued, "Cops have arrested Aguilera under charges of fraud, it's rumored that the cops even had to wear blind folds and their fore use training dogs to arrest Aguilera for fear of facing this medusa, but apparently the dogs had to be blind and only have intense hearing so that they would be able to guide the cops without going mad by looking at her face. Back to you Dallas."  
  
Scene shifts back to studio.  
  
"We will update you more on the news as more time passes on, you'll be able to check out the pictures which will appear in 'Hideous Magazine for People Who Want to Find People Worst off Than They' in June 2004. Now we have Elton John singing a tribute to Christina Aguilera."  
  
Scene changes to Elton wearing a pink and yellow glittery assemble and a pair of chic glasses. He begins to play the piano.  
  
"You are beautiful no matter what they say Words won't bring you down You are beautiful in every single way Yes, words won't bring you down Don't you bring me down today..." Elton than stands up, "Thank you, Thank you!"  
  
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Sorry that took so long, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Plus I love Christina, she has a great voice, so don't kill me please! I think I'm doing Stacie next (whom I love and am sad to say I have to or well Rogue has to hurt in some way. Review and take care! 


	4. Stacie Orrico

I don't own Stacie or her songs; in fact I don't own anything in my stories except the plotless writing in itself. Here it is (Poor Stacie . . .) ***********************************************************************  
  
Rogue had just finished putting on her make up when she heard Evan talking about how much he 'loved' Stacie. Rogue opened the door to the bathroom.  
  
"Who's Stacie?" Rogue asked, assuming that it was a new student or something of that nature. Bobby's eyes grew wide and he looked at Evan.  
  
"Stacie? You don't know Stacie Orrico? She's the epitome of the perfect balance of a cute, sweet girl who sings songs about how rotten a guy is but how much she loves him and wants to be with him regardless of his abusive and sexist nature." Bobby provided. Rogue gave them confused looks and just made her way to her bedroom.  
  
She groaned when she heard Kitty sobbing on her bed, holding her care bear in her arms. She felt a huge obligation of at least asking what was wrong.  
  
"Why the hell are ya cryin' now?" she asked. Kitty looked up at her with beautiful swollen teary eyes.  
  
"Lance broke up with me!" she shouted and commenced to cry again.  
  
"Oh," Rogue said and immediately forgot about it. She sat down on her bed and pulled out a new novel when she heard Kitty mess with the radio while sniffing loudly. Some music came on and Kitty groaned.  
  
"This is how I feel about Lance!" she cried out.  
  
I can't get out of bed today  
  
Or get you off my mind  
  
I just can't seem to find a way  
  
To leave the love behind  
  
I ain't trippin  
  
I'm just missing you  
  
You know what I'm saying  
  
You know what I mean  
  
Rogue sighed when the song began, assuming that Kitty would moan over the situation by herself. But no, that wasn't to be.  
  
"Remember the time that he climbed into the balcony and sang to me that song," Kitty cried. Rogue rolled her eyes.  
  
"How could ah forget," Rogue said. She remembered how he had stood outside singing 'I love you, you love me' etc. etc. Right afterwards Logan had to take him to the hospital after Rogue 'accidentally' shoved him off the balcony.  
  
The time passed and she managed to convince Kitty to take a trip to the mall so she could stop listening to that maddening song. Rogue saw a record store and decided to by an old Violent Femmes c.d. She sent Kitty off to some store with pink fluffy bunnies. But as she was waiting in line a loud scream filled the mall.  
  
Rogue's heart stopped in fear. She ran off to find Kitty and entered a clothing store with Kitty holding herself and crying as if she had been hurt. Rogue threw herself on the ground and gathered Kitty.  
  
"What happened?" Rogue shouted. Silence permeated the air but one voice was heard.  
  
You kept me hanging from a string  
  
Why you make me cry?  
  
I tried to give you everything  
  
But you just gave me lies  
  
"Oh hell no," Rogue muttered. She stood up, gave Kitty a swift kick in the backside and left the store.  
  
She had managed to reach the bus stop when she found Lance sitting there; he looked so happy that she got pissed off even more. She walked over to him and punched him in the nose.  
  
"What was that for?" Lance said, holding his face. Rogue seethed at him.  
  
"You broke Kitty's heart," Rogue shouted. She always had to suffer with Kitty's mood swings and now she had to deal with that song as well, and until he stopped being an idiot the song would never end.  
  
"I didn't do anything, it was that girl, Stacie something or other. Kitty started listening to her stupid songs and than she wanted me to hear them too, I couldn't stand it so I ended things." Lance confessed. Rogue stared in shock and than left without a word of apology.  
  
Kitty ended up showing up and seeing Rogue and Lance, she started to cry again and Lance knowing what was coming covered his ears with his pointer fingers and started to mumble to himself. 'La la la la la, la la la la la'.  
  
Kitty on the other hand decided to share her feelings by singing how she felt in the words of her new favorite singer.  
  
I can't take it  
  
What am I waiting for?  
  
My heart's still breaking  
  
I miss you even more  
  
And I can't fake it  
  
The way I could before  
  
I hate you but I love you  
  
I can't stop thinking of you  
  
It's true  
  
I'm stuck on you  
  
Rogue decided to end the misery and took a pipe from a garbage can and swung it at Kitty's head. Lance walked over.  
  
"She just won't stop!" he shouted, when Kitty kept on mumbling 'stuck on you' in oblivion. "I'm just gonna end this," he said. He pulled out a paper and attempted to make a million paper cuts on her body to end Kitty's life. But Rogue stopped him.  
  
"No Lance, we need ta cut this off at the source," Rogue said. Lance looked at her confused. But she explained her plan and a mad grin came upon his face.  
  
"You don't mean . . ." he said.  
  
"Oh yes," she replied. And they set on entering Lance's car, planning to drop Kitty off at the mansion and than make their way to the Kids Choice Awards, where Stacie Orrico would be playing that night.  
  
***  
  
"Hello Everybody!" Stacie Orrico shouted from the stage. She began to sing and didn't notice the two people watching her from the top of the room.  
  
"Rogue do you think we can pull this off, I mean my heart isn't in hurting anyone," Lance said. Rogue merely gave him a look.  
  
"Listen to her sing," Rogue said.  
  
Will I always be there for you?  
  
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?  
  
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?  
  
Lance began to growl as he remembered when Kitty and him where in the backseat and that song came on. She had immediately shoved him off of her and started to sing along, really, really loud.  
  
When the tears get near your eyes  
  
Will I be the one that's by your side?  
  
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?  
  
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your light?  
  
I promise, I promise  
  
I promise I will  
  
His mind drifted to a couple of weeks ago when she had made him sing this song with her in the school talent show. She had wanted to share their love with everyone and this was the song she had chosen.  
  
Will I take tender care of you?  
  
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you  
  
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?  
  
When this world has turned so cold  
  
Will I be the one that's there to hold?  
  
"I'm ready," Lance said. Rogue grinned, would she have a partner in crime? She'd find out soon enough. Stacie was almost finished with her song and they would begin as soon as she was done.  
  
Yeah  
  
And I love you more every day  
  
And nothing will take that love away  
  
When you need someone  
  
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)  
  
I promise  
  
"Now!" Rogue shouted. They lowered themselves with black stretchy ropes to the ground and the dancers screamed and ran away. Lance stopped Stacie from moving with a little bit of ground shifting. She just landed on the floor.  
  
"What's going on?" she cried out. Rogue stepped in front of her and pulled out a tiny scalpel.  
  
"I'm gonna show you what stuck on you is!" Rogue said. Lance grabbed Stacie by the arms and torturous screaming began. The kids laughed in glee thinking this was some part of the show.  
  
Rogue took out a tweezer and dropped something in a little baggie and than continued on. By the time she was done, she smiled at her work. Lance on the other hand was shifting from one foot to the other since security was coming.  
  
"Rogue, we've gotta go," he said. Rogue nodded her head, waved the baggie and escaped. They made their way to their respective houses. And Rogue put the little thing in the baggie in her 'collection'.  
  
***  
  
"Hello everyone," the reporter said. "We have received shocking news. Apparently Stacie Orrico, the female pop singer who is the epitome of the perfect balance of a cute, sweet girl who sings songs about how rotten a guy is but how much she loves him and wants to be with him regardless of his abusive and sexist behavior, has dropped out of the contest."  
  
Everyone in the room stared in shock. "But she was so close!" Ray said. Everyone nodded.  
  
"Orrico was running for most large and most beautiful mole along with Enrique Iglesias and Cindy Crawford. But now that it's gone, she has dropped out of the contest. The police have started a search on finding her mole and hopefully retrieve it time for her to get back in."  
  
Kitty ran to the bedroom to talk to Rogue.  
  
"Rogue did you hear the news? Stacie lost her mole!" Kitty shouted, Rogue in turn gave her a shocked look.  
  
"Are ya serious, ya must feel bad Kitty," Rogue said. Kitty shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"Not really, Lance got back with me today." He eyes got dreamy. "Hey have you seen my 'To Grandmother's House We Go' DVD? I wanna see it."  
  
And it begins again. *************************************************************************  
  
Okay that's all, I'm gonna do the Olsen Twins next, have to figure out all the evil things Rogue can do to them. Any suggestions? 


	5. The Olsen Twins

**You guys are so awesome! I wonder if you're still around. Well here is the next chapter to Rogues Killing spree! I hope you enjoy! I'm using a lot of the ideas I've read in the reviews so pat yourselves on the back because you guys are awesome. I own nothing familiar.**

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"They're, like, the cutest twins in the world. I mean not even Tia and Tamara could top them off," Kitty shouted at her eighth rendition of 'To Grandmother's House We Go'. Rogue wondered if the torture would never, ever end. "You know, I think that Stacie Orrico's problem was, like, a gift, ya know? Now I have the time to watch the DVD's I really love."  
  
Rogue quietly stood up and pulled the DVD out of the player and threw it on the floor. She stomped on it and stomped on it and stomped on it until it was itty bitty pieces of random glass on the ground. Then she smiled and sat back down on the bed.  
  
"Rogue, did you, like, see that?" Kitty asked. "My DVD broke! Now I have to watch New York Minute that came out on video two weeks after it opened in the theaters." Rogue stood up and marched out of the room, she then heard a loud cry and turned to find a pack of Teenage boys run towards her. She got trampled in the mob as they entered Kitty's room to watch the DVD.  
  
Rogue stood up and realized that she'd have to find the source of the madness, but for now...she'd just attack the stars directly. She made her way to NYU to start the business but first she'd have to make another stop in Hanks little laboratory.  
  
Rogue happily noticed the twins walking out of the school through the back and made her move.  
  
"Hey," she said to the blonde (or brunette) beauties. "My name is Rogue."  
  
"Hey Rogue," they both said.  
  
"My name is Mary Kate Olsen," Mary Kate said.  
  
"And my name is Ashley Olsen," Ashley said.  
  
"And we're," a bit of music plays. "The Olsen Twins." Lot's of giggling is heard.  
  
"Oh, that's nice," Rogue said and smiled at the two girls. They girls looked at each other and smiled.  
  
"Oh my God, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ashley said. Mary Kate nodded.  
  
"Duh, Ashley, we're twins!" More giggles.  
  
"She should sleepover!" Ashley said. Rogue shook her head in horror but managed to get dragged into the limo with them. "We'll go shopping for some cute clothes."  
  
"Yeah, your look is so yesterday," Mary Kate said.  
  
"Oh I love Hilary Duff," Ashley commented and they both begin singing in awful high pitched voices. Rogue covered her ears with tissue as the blood seeped out. They finally arrived at the mall where the Olsen Twins took her to..._gulp_...the Gap! Mary Kate and Ashley dressed her as quickly as possible.  
  
They forced her to wear a baby pink long sleeved top with the words 'Bootilicious' written in silver sequins and baby blue jeans with a pair of pink platforms. Her hair was dyed blonde and she was forced to have her face washed off by a woman who thought brillo pads were the softest things on earth. By the time she was done, Rogue looked like a raw blonde. She was very, very angry.  
  
The sleepover came and they were now in the house talking about boys...well the twins were Rogue was trying to protect her sanity while her eye twitched rapidly.  
  
"I know!" Rogue said through clenched teeth. "Let's play Dr. 90210."  
  
"Oh, we love to play that game! The last time, Ashley got her nose fixed and I got a boob job," Mary Kate said, while swiping on strawberry lip- gloss for the umpteenth time.  
  
"Great, so then why not I give you guys face lifts," Rogue said and pulled out her bag.  
  
"That'll be so much fun!" Ashley said. "I want to look like..."  
  
"Lindsay Lohan!" Mary Kate finished, more giggles. They both laid down on their...twin beds _(starts laughing to herself at the pun)_ and Rogue takes out her needle full of anesthesia.  
  
"This won't hurt a bit," Rogue said as she inserted it into Ashley's neck. Ashley and Mary Kate were gone in two minutes. Rogue began the repairs. A nip here, a tuck there, a bit of botox...okay...a lot of Botox! And the world was once again well. She made her way out of the house through the back and avoided the security and guard dogs; she didn't want any poodles chasing after her now. So she went home, redyed her hair and fell asleep. She'd need strength for the next morning.  
  
Rogue was shaken awake by Bobby and Evan who were in tears. She mumbled as she made her way to the living room to watch the morning news with the others.  
  
"Good morning this is Rolling Thunder with the breaking news of the evening. Apparently Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen decided that being twins wasn't much fun, so they underwent plastic surgery. The change were drastic but they hope that their long time fans (particularly the six and seven year olds) will remain faithful."  
  
A picture of two disfigured women appear on the screen and Jamie screams while Logan's claws pop out and enter Evan's head. Bobby ices up and Ororo faints while Xavier runs around in horror. Scott's eyes get so wide they override the glasses and bust a hole in Jean's head. Many people are in the medical area along with Hank.  
  
"In more joyful news, they will be coming out in Resident Evil 3 this fall. Have a good day." News music comes out.  
  
"Like, OMG, that is so awful! Don't you think so Rogue," Kitty asks as they go to their room. Rogue nods as she cleans the blood off of Hanks Medical bag and passes Kitty the new clothes she got from the Gap. Kitty rolls her eyes and throws it to the side. "Rogue, you are so yesterday," she says and grabs a tie that she borrowed from Xavier's; she puts it on and turns to Rogue. "Do I look, like, a little Frustrated?"  
  
Dun Dun Dun

* * *

**Review Please!**


	6. Avril lavigne

**_Hey everyone. I don't own anything, not Avril, not Rogue and not alcoholics anonymous. I'm in the mood for some sick humor, so let's just go back in time to a year of ties and cropped pants._**

* * *

Rogue was sure that hell was not in the center of the earth as theorist assumed and that it was in fact in the X Men household. She sat down in the middle of the lawn while all the girls walked around with ties around there necks and ugly platform sneakers. The boys were riding around with skate boards and the girls were cursing at each other with every word they spoke. 

"Hey Kitty," Jubilee said. "Can you pass me the F...ing hot dog?"

"Sure Jubes. Want the F...ing ketchup too?"

Rogue sighed heavily and stood up as she made her way over to the barbecue where Logan was passing around food. She stopped in front of him and cocked a brow at his apron. It said "ILurve Skateboards".

"What are you F...ing looking at Stripes?" he said kindly, and gave her the meal. Rogue glared at him and went over to a rock to eat. She would be damned if she sat with them. The professor wheeled over on the grass and gave her a smile.

"Rogue…I've been meaning to speak to you about something important," he said. Rogue panicked slightly wondering if he had gotten his credit card bills or if he had heard of her escapades.

"Okay…g'head prof," she said. The Professor put his hand on her shoulder and smiled kindly.

"Well Rogue. I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to try to be," he made quotation marks with his fingers, "'hardcore.' Dressing up like a Goth and trying to be something that you're not is not a good way of expressing yourself. You should try to take examples of our students, who aren't afraid of being themselves."

She looked about and saw all the girls in their ties and the boys in their skateboards. The only one being real was Evan and he doesn't count because he's not a real x men, he was an evolution original, and not a good one at that, that miscreant…anyway, Rogue saw the clones and shook her head.

"Professor, ah am bein' mahself. Ya should be worryin' bout the rest of the team," she said and the Professor shook his head.

"Rogue, when one has a problem, they must let people know. Let me show you," the professor stood up and declared with all his might. "My name is Charles and I am crippled." He sat down again. "See?"

Rogue shook her head angrily and began to leave the backyard, she hated the sun anyway. She was on her way to the house when she heard her name on from the karaoke machine.

"Rogue," Jean said. "This song is for you…Why you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated Life's like this you And you fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it no no no. Rogue…just accept who you F...ing are…we F...ing love you."

"F... YOU!" Rogue yelled, understandably upset and gave Jean the finger. The Professor grabbed her by the ear from his wheelchair and took her to his office.

"Rogue, that was a very naughty word you said and I will not F...ing allow that in the institute! Go to your room and think about the B...y thing that you did today!"

Oh yeah…Rogue went to her room and she was making plans…

* * *

Avril was standing on a bridge, waiting in the dark; she thought that they'd be here by now. There's nothing but the rain, no footsteps on the ground, she was listening but there's no sound. Rogue noticed the girl standing there, quiet and alone and walked over to her. 

"Hey…mah name is Rogue and ah sent you that note ta meet me," Rogue said with a kind smile. She tucked her hair behind her ear and was ready to talk about what was bothering her when Avril started talking to her.

"What the F... is it that you want? I'm F...ing hardcore! I Like to say F... all the time and make people uncomfortable. Do you see this F...ing tie? Do you! It makes me different from everyone! I mean it makes me F...ing different from everyone! I am a F...ing teen who was neglected as a child and whose parents where either too busy to teach manners, or too afraid to F...ing wash my mouth with soap and beat my F...ing A..! F... off!" Avril Lavigne said. She proceeded then to give Rogue the finger and walked depressingly away.

Rogue ran right after her with a butchers name and the wet ground was full of Fing red blood. Rogue then proceeded to donate the evidence to and sold all the ties in the institute on E-Pay.

The next morning Kitty shook Rogue awake and told her to come downstairs for a special morning edition of the news. Rogue took a shower and washed off all of the evidence before coming downstairs. There were censor blocks on all the mutants' mouths. The television came on.

"This is X.L. Trojan with the upcoming news. Avril Lavigne has been the next victim of the pop striker known as The Redeemer. She was found lying on a bridge and bleeding in the dark. When we turned her over her tongue was cut off and both the middle fingers on her hands and feet. Missing her most important body parts it is the end of a seemingly disturbing career of the young non-pop hardcore rocking career that she so F...ing started. In other news, Britney Spears has come out with a new alb-." The rest was cut off by Logan.

"What kind of &#&$ing sick pervert would do that to Avril?" he asked concerned. The rest shrugged and Kitty sighed.

"All I know is that they can just, like, &#&$ing kiss my A$$!" she said and everyone agreed. The professor then clapped his hands.

"Come on students. Get the &#&$ off the couch, we have to get ready for that stupid A$$ benefit concert tonight."

"What &#&$ing concert Professor?" Ororo asked.

"The one with &#&$ing Diana Ross! To the &#&$ing X-Jet!"

_**Review please!**_


	7. Diana Ross

**Hey guys! Yeah, yeah I'm amd late! Oh well, good thing about this fic is that I don't have a plot going, yay! Thank you to Cygna Vamp, who was actually the one to bring up this idea…thank you!**

**I don't own Diana Ross, the X Men or the songs!**

* * *

The X-Men where sitting in the X-jet all enjoying their flight to see the world renowned famous singer, Diana Ross! Oh how beautiful she was with her bug eyes and Joker mouth. How kind she was when she dropped the Supremes at the drop of a hat to continue on with her solo career even though the rest of the girls ended up in a shelter for poor folk.

Rogue smiled at Professor Xavier as he wheeled over to her and grabbed her gloved hand between his. His eyes were so full of kindness and he reached out for her face but did not touch it, knowing the consequences. The love that he emitted was so intense that Rogue found herself positively overwhelmed and unsure of how to react. She merely covered his hands with hers and looked deep into his eyes as he spoke.

"Rogue…you are so wonderful. I wish that I could make your life worth while. That I could help you the way you wished I could," he told her. Rogue sighed heavily but was touched at his determined face. Then he pulled his hand away. "But alas…I can't help you. You shall remain untouchable. Without the ability to feel another persons warmth! It is impossible Rogue! Impossible! You will die a virgin!"

Rogue cried out at the reminder and struggled to keep her feelings at bay. She watched as the rest of the X Men unbuckled their seat belts as the plane began to slowly steady itself. Logan put it on autopilot and inserted a c.d. He looked over at Rogue and winked at her. A soft melody began to play as he made his way over to her.

"Take off your gloves darlin'," he said and Rogue slowly slipped them off. "Let me show ya what you've been lookin' for…that peace you've been seekin' all yer life." He walked over to her slowly and she reached out with love. But he passed her and grabbed Ororo's ungloved hand before he began to sing…

"Reach out and touch…Somebody's hand," he sang. Rogue blushed in embarrassment and looked up to see Scott heading towards Jean singing…

"Make this world a better place…If you can," Scott said to Jean and grabbed her hand, twirling her about before dipping her. The skippy melody continued as Kurt slid over to Kitty and grabbed her by her naked waist and held her up in the air.

"Veach out and touch…Somebody's hand," He said to her ear, singing along with Kitty, who rubbed her face against his. Evan stood up and ran to Ray, taking him in his arms and they waltzed around the room, singing together…

"Make this world a better place…If you can," they harmonized.

"Just try," Evan whispered in Ray's ear. Bobby skipped over to Jubilee and they ripped each others clothes off, nakedly running around the X-Jet.

"Take a little time out of your busy day," Bobby said to Jubilee and took out body oil, rubbing it all over her back.

"To give encouragement…To someone who's lost the way," Jubilee sang to him. She poured butter on his tushi and pinched his tender cheeks.

"Just try," Ray whispered in Evan's ear. Rahne stood up and began to spin around the room, her arms wide as she ran into Sam's arms. She sang…

"Or would I be talkin' tae a stone…If I asked ye," She cried out and ran into his arms. He lifted her high to the sky and sang…

"Ta share a problem that's not yer own," He sang to her and then planted her on the floor as he continued to rub his hands up and down her bare arms. Jean was lying on the ground as Scott slowly began to unbutton her shirt and rub his face against her bare neck. And Jean sang…

"We can change things if we start giving…Why don't you…" She sang until Logan gave them a glare and Scott quickly buttoned her shirt back up. Amara looked down at Roberto's face and rubbed his cheek, their bronzed skin almost blending together in love. And she sang…

"Reach out and touch…Somebody's hand…," she told him and he grabbed hers and held it tightly till her fingers grew blue. And he continued singing…

"Make this world a better place…If you can," he told her and Tabitha stood behind Roberto and massaged his bare shoulders and looked at Amara with love. And she sang…

"Reach out and touch…Somebody's hand," She belted out, gospel style. Then Mystique and Magneto came out of nowhere, dressed only with animal fur covering their privies and they sang…

"Make this world a better place…if you can!"

"Just try," Evan whispered to Ray, who promptly fainted in his arms. Ororo slowly pulled off Logan's shirt and rubbed her hands all over his chest, her fingers getting stuck to its manly hairiness. And she sang…

"If you see an old friend on the street…And he's down," she said to him sweetly. He gave her a smile and continued the song…

"Remember his shoes could fit your feet…" Logan's voice droned softly.

"Just try", Ray said, looking up at Evan, who dropped Ray to the ground as the intensity of their touches were powerful. Xavier danced among the people, his long legs gracefully moving like a gazelle and he sang the words with such relish. He sang…

"Try a little kindness you'll see…  
It's something that comes very naturally…  
We can change things if we start giving," he held the last note and then realized he was standing. Promptly he fell to the floor and looked about in anguish until Magneto held out his hand to help him up. And Magneto sang…

"Why don't you…," he said to Xavier softly, Xavier took his hand. Xavier sang…

"Reach out and touch," he said and he and Magneto sang together…

"Why don't you," they both looked at Mystique who took their left over hands and sang…

"Why don't you…Reach out and touch somebody's hand!" She sang. But then Xavier realized who they were and threw them out of the X-Jet since they were evil…

Jamie then realized something…He realized that everyone was touching everyone, except for Rogue. He stood up and walked over to her, he stood before her while she looked up into his eyes and he finished the song…singing…

"Reach out and touch…Somebody's hand," he sang. He pulled off the glove from her right hand…

"Make this world a better place…" he sang and took the left glove off her hand…

"If you can…Reach out and touch," he sang and pulled off his right glove…

"Somebody's hand," he sang and took off his left glove…

"Make this world a better place," he sang and took her ungloved hands into his own…and sang…

"If you can…" he sang, but then he started to shake. Rogue watched in shock as she sucked him up and he fainted on the floor, unconscious. Xavier wheeled over to her and grabbed her by the ear and forced her to put her gloves back on.

"Now Rogue, that was very naughty! No touching for you!"

Rogue vowed vengeance on the one called Diana Ross!

* * *

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

* * *

Rogue slowly slithered away as everyone snag along to Diana Ross' song: Only You. She could still here the vocals as she crept behind the guards and cracked their heads together, they fell to the floor. She noticed Diana's gay hairdresser trying to talk to one of the gay dancers and let loose a rat that passed them.

"Well ah declare!" The hairdresser shouted and he fainted on the floor, the dancer following suit. She managed to lock the publicist into the closet after taping her mouth, hands and legs together. She snuck behind a couch and almost felt guilty for doing such monstrosities. But then Diana's voice continued in the loudspeaker…she sang…

"When you hold my hand…I understand the magic that you do…" Diana growled and Rogue became reheated.

The concert finally ended and in walked Diana Ross. She kicked off her shoes, one of them hitting Rogue in the forehead and slipped off her fancy dress, only to put on another glittery ensemble. She brushed her thick mane till it was frizzy and put on more eye make up to bring out her eyes…Then she noticed a little twitch in the corner.

"Is…is somebody there?" she asked softly. There was no voice but a little scuffle confirmed that someone was there. She repeated her question. "Is somebody there?"

"Yes," Rogue said and came out of hiding. "It's nice ta meet ya Diana…"

"Hello fan," Diana Ross said and came over quickly. She took her hand out and jiggled Rogue's boob. Rogue promptly held her hands over her chest to protect them while Diana made her way to the couch. She shoved some pill into her mouth and took a chug of vodka. "So…what are you here for today hun?"

"Ah am tired of your song…" Rogue said and sat down across from her, pouring herself some Bacardi.

"What song?" Diana asked.

"That stupid reach out and touch some damn body's hand!" Rogue shouted. Diana sighed heavily and walked over to Rogue and grabbed both her boobs, slapping them around a bit.

"Hun! Hand's are a many splendid thing!" she said. "You can use them for all sorts of talent." She continued to bop her boobs up and down and sighed. "I miss Lil Kim…I think you're a little smaller…let me see."

Rogue stood there in shock as Diana began to feel up her boobs. Diana gave her a big smile and began to sing…

"Reach out…and touch…somebody's…hand…" she said and yelped when the axe chopping sounds began. No one heard the sounds of her scream…

* * *

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

* * *

Back at the hotel everyone was in utter shock as the news came on. Logan spilled his beer on the floor as the news broke out about Diana Ross's attack. Kurt raised the volume as Xavier called the rest of the mutants in with this disastrous news. Rogue merely chewed on some stale popcorn from the machine as she watched what they would have to say about her now.

"Good evening…this is Mudder Fudder coming to you live from outside of Diana Ross's latest concert which was held this evening before some recent, tragic events. Apparently the world renowned singer as met a cruel fate as she will never…and I quote…"reach out and touch somebody's hand"…end quote…again. We do not know but it seems as if the Redeemer has struck again. All pop singers! Please…please lock your doors…we hold up a sketch of the killer, if you see her, please report her to the authorities." The reporter held up a raw sketch of Rogue in black and white.

Everyone turned to Rogue who paled up at the thought of being caught when Kitty giggled.

"You know…I, like, totally thought it was Rogue until I realized that she has a center part in her hair, not a side part!"

"I know!" Kurt chimed in. "And vhen I looked closely I realized that Rogue is not black and vhite! Isn't that cvazy?!"

Everyone nodded their heads and laughed as Rogue gingerly left the room. She had to stop this madness…she just had to…She lay down on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. Scott walked by her room and pretended he was a puppet. He sang…

"Bye Bye Bye!"


End file.
